Cory in the school
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: A certain American Kid joined Shobu High School...


"Ohayoooooooooooo hol up gozaimanigga! The name's Cory Baxter. I'm the man!"

The new kid did an alpha-male introduction of himself, emitting a glow of confidence that gave everyone positive vibes.

Kyaaa! I can't wait for his full grown melanated shaft inside of me! were the general reactions of the girls.

To make matter even danker, Cory suddenly grabbed a mic and started rapping!

"Now this is the story of Cory who make bitches horny no matter how corny my pick up lines seem you can't touch my rhyme scheme nor can you touch my fine skin and if you do any of that imma turn this into a crime scene. Consider the fact that I breath in my ether in liters, you should not fuck with me cuz I'm fixing you quicker than a nigga intoxicated with liquor who dropped his cigar, bam! You're deader than Hitler. Now who's the faggot who wanted me to toss his salad, don't you ever mess with Cory or else yo ass be sorry!"

"Famalam that shit is fire! Kendrick Llama got nothing on you!" Hayama, who lived the double life as Lil Yachie, praised Cory for his insane rapping skills.

"Straight outta the white house fam!" Cory smiled. The people never treated his that friendly back in his country.

Then he turned at Hachiman. With a cold glare but a neutral tone, he said to him. "This song is directed at you, by the way. Meet me at the rooftop after school.

Lunch time. The whole school were in heated debate over Cory's transfer. While most of the student's were agreeable to the new student, there were some vocal minorities who strongly objected to accepting Cory into the family.

"Fuck would you want a nigger here?! Smh! This unwarranted liberalism and tolerance is the reason why Chiba is in a state of downfall. I say we lynch this gaijin, or deport him to our rival Tokyo state high school, don't fucking let him in!"

"Make Chiba great again! White power!"

"Yo gotta be outta yo mind man…" Hayama shook his head. He find it quite comical but dared not laugh lest he come off as insensitive.

Meanwhile, Cory was breaking into a cold sweat. Crap, if I laid hands on one of them, I could end up hanging from a tree! Cory decided to stop the fight and instead resolve it using a civil manner— he is going to have a heart-to-heart talk with Hachiman.

Meanwhile, Hachiman was already at the rooftop, armed with a machete. "Fu fu fu… this naive fatass think I ain't shit? Damn if only he knew that I am none other than the Public Enemy #1!"

Just then, he received a message.

It was Cory Baxter.

"Me. You. Library. Now."

Fuck is this a trap? Hachiman checked the entrance to downstairs carefully, fearing that Cory might be baiting him into an ambush. It was only after he got down 10 steps that he knew Cory is not trying to do anything funny.

"Why the fuck did this nigger ask me to go to the library for?"

"Oh well, if he wanted to beat my ass in front of the nerds, then he's in for a big surprise."

At the library.

"Come the fuck out now, you dirty ass nigger!" Hachiman shouted out loud. The librarian looked at him as though she wanted to lynch him right on the spot.

The nerds stared at him with a disgusted looks. You know you fucked up when even the generally benign nerds become visibly disapproving of your actions.

"Hey Hachiman! Look, no weapons, only words, mkay?"

"Okay… okay… but first I need to ask you something, that is why were you dissing me just now?"

"Cuz from ur videos ur hella racist."

"What video?"

"Oh, let me show you."

Cory opened his laptop and went on youtube. He then searched for Hachiman's youtube channel.

Fuck! Hachiman thought. It is the channel he uses to upload songs from his debut album Twin Tower LP. But the songs were neither pleasant nor were they politically correct.

Here's a sample:

"Niggers knows nothing what's new

Biggest nose that's right the Jews!

Chinese eating dogs in restaurants

Are those the jews? Fucking turn the gas on.

Nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger

Bigger bigger bigger bigger

Jigger jigger jigger jigger

Nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger

Cigar cigar cigar cigar

Giga giga giga giga

Niggers ain't worth shit to me! Ha!"

"How yo explain that shit! White boy?"

"Man I was just taking a piss man. Actually in reality I am a strong supporter of the Black Lives Matter movement and have been campaigning for Bernie Sanders since the 80s."

"Just kidding! I simply don't like niggers! Wanna challenge me?"

"Although you are not... not... too bad… I d-d-d-don't mind… if you're a nigger…"

"Kyaaaaaaaa~" Cory blushed at Hachiman's words.

"Come into daddy's lap!" Hachiman said as tears welled up in his eyes. They hugged out in the open for a full 30 minutes like real homies.

Meanwhile the Yaoi fantards are creaming themselves dry over the scenes, much to the dismay of the librarians. And why should they not be dismayed? The yaoi girls are simply not cultured enough to see the manliness and brotherhood behind that hug. All they pictured in their mind is Cory tearing through Hachiman's tissues with his BBC.

And this is the story where bad meets evil. Cory Baxter, the most intriguing exchange student of Shobu High School in years to come, became best homies with a certain individual known as Hikigaya Hachiman. They spent their days engaging in bromantic actions such as rap battling in the showers, drawing naked portrait of each other during art class and using the "deliberately choosing the strand which the other party has already held on while sharing a plate of spaghetti" tricks on each other in the cafeteria.


End file.
